wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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