the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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