For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
