I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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