Your dad touched me again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
