Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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