right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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