his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
