I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
