D3 body, D1 cock
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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