I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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