Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
