I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
