I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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