Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
