We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
