Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
