We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
