i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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