I smell stomach acid.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The adults are the big ones right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
