WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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