hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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