I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
