you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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