I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
