Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
