do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
