i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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