You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
