eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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