I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
