No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
