Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You ruined the universe
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
