ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
