yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
