She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
