I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
