Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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