Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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