PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
