he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
