You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
