genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
