God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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