Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
