god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Shame is for Republicans.
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