omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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