yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
