can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i think i just lost a toe
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
