Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
