why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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