You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
