My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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