doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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