So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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