I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
