You're completely useless in the revolution.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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