its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i think my cat just said my name.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
