We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
