Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
