I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
