GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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