I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
